Around India in 80 Trains Read online

  AROUND

  INDIA

  IN

  80

  TRAINS

  Praise for

  Around India in 80 Trains

  “A wonderfully wry and witty debut. Crackles and sparks with life

  like an exploding box of Diwali fireworks.”

  William Dalrymple, author of The Last Mughal

  “A great big lovely shambling train ride of a book, offering wonderful

  views, hilarious interludes, all sorts of dodgy characters and some

  very peculiar smells, all for the one ticket.”

  Giles Coren, bestselling author and Times columnist

  “One can only envy Monisha Rajesh as she embarks on this epic

  journey through the vast tangle and bewildering extension of India’s

  railways. The ticketing bureaucracy is mad, the travelling companions

  infinitely varied, the pleasure, discomforts and revelations such that

  she is guaranteed what even the wriest and most sceptical traveller

  yearns for: some deeper knowledge of oneself.”

  Tim Parks, travel writer and Booker Prize nominee

  “I love train trips and I love travelling around India. If you do too,

  then this book is a wonderful companion.”

  Irvine Welsh, author of Trainspotting

  First published in the UK by

  Nicholas Brealey Publishing in 2012

  3–5 Spafield Street

  Clerkenwell, London

  EC1R 4QB

  Tel: +44 (0)20 7239 0360

  Fax: +44 (0)20 7239 0370

  20 Park Plaza

  Boston

  MA 02110, USA

  Tel: 888 BREALEY

  Fax: (617) 523 3708

  www.nicholasbrealey.com

  www.80trains.com

  © Monisha Rajesh 2012

  The right of Monisha Rajesh to be identified as the author of

  this work has been asserted in accordance with the

  Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  ISBN: 978-1-85788-595-8

  eISBN: 978-1-85788-948-2

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording and/or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publishers. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form, binding or cover other than that in which it is published, without the prior consent of the publishers.

  Train illustrations by Sroop Sunar

  www.sroopsunar.com

  Other illustrations by Kriti Monga

  www.turmericdesign.com

  Printed in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc.

  First published in the UK by

  Nicholas Brealey Publishing in 2012

  3–5 Spafield Street

  Clerkenwell, London

  EC1R 4QB

  Tel: +44 (0)20 7239 0360

  Fax: +44 (0)20 7239 0370

  20 Park Plaza

  Boston

  MA 02110, USA

  Tel: 888 BREALEY

  Fax: (617) 523 3708

  www.nicholasbrealey.com

  www.80trains.com

  © Monisha Rajesh 2012

  The right of Monisha Rajesh to be identified as the author of

  this work has been asserted in accordance with the

  Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  ISBN: 978-1-85788-595-8

  eISBN: 978-1-85788-948-2

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording and/or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publishers. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form, binding or cover other than that in which it is published, without the prior consent of the publishers.

  Illustrations by Kriti Monga

  www.turmericdesign.com

  Printed in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc.

  For Baby Rajesh, who is still on board.

  May all your journeys be filled with adventure.

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. All Aboard the Insomnia Express

  2. Guantanamo Chic and the Perils of Wearing Shoes

  3. A Royal Affair

  4. ‘Excuse Me Darling, I Have a Message for You’

  5. Hindus Only Allowed

  6. Super-dense Crush Load

  7. Sexual Healing

  8. The Crazy White Man in the Cupboard

  9. Sunburn and Spasms

  10. Oh My Dog!

  11. The Venus Flytrap of Insanity

  12. Toy Trains and Afternoon Tea

  13. City of Gins

  14. Monty Python at the Wagah Border

  15. Silk Sheets and a Wad of Human Hair

  16. God Bless the NHS!

  17. A Taste of Rocky Road Ice Cream

  18. Bullets over Brahmaputra

  19. The Temple of Doom

  20. Losing My Religion

  21. Answered Prayers

  Snakes and Ladders

  Glossary

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  AROUND

  INDIA

  IN

  80

  TRAINS

  Outline map © Daniel Dalet/d-maps.com

  THE 80 TRAINS

  1

  Anantapuri Express from Chennai to Nagercoil

  2

  Passenger train from Nagercoil to Kanyakumari

  3

  Himsagar Express from Kanyakumari to Trivandrum

  4

  Trivandrum-Mangalore Express from Trivandrum to Mangalore

  5

  Matsyagandha Express from Mangalore to Madgaon

  6

  Mandovi Express from Madgaon to Mumbai

  7

  Indian Maharaja-Deccan Odyssey from Mumbai to Delhi

  8

  Visitors’ train: The National Railway Museum in Delhi

  9

  Kerala Express from Delhi to Kottayam

  10

  Sabari Express from Kottayam to Coimbatore

  11

  Nagercoil Express from Coimbatore to Madurai

  12

  Nagercoil-Chennai Express from Madurai to Trichy

  13

  Passenger train from Trichy to Thanjavur

  14

  Trichy-Nagore passenger train from Thanjavur to Nagapattinam

  15

  Passenger train from Nagapattinam to Trichy

  16

  Passenger train from Trichy to Chennai

  17

  Charminar Express from Chennai to Hyderabad

  18

  Hyderabad-Mumbai Express from Hyderabad to Mumbai

  19

  Local train from CST to Parel

  20

  Local train from Parel to CST

  21

  Local train from Churchgate to Andheri

  22

  Local train from Andheri to Churchgate

  23

  Koyna Express from Mumbai to Neral

  24

  Toy train from Matheran to Neral

  25

  Deccan Queen from Mumbai to Pune

  26

  Pune-Nizamuddin Duronto E
xpress from Pune to Delhi

  27

  Delhi Metro from Central Secretariat to Rajendra Nagar

  28

  Sampark Kranti Express from Delhi to Jhansi

  29

  Bhopal Shatabdi Express from Jhansi to Delhi

  30

  Swarna Jayanti Rajdhani from Delhi to Ahmedabad

  31

  Somnath Express from Ahmedabad to Veraval

  32

  Passenger train from Veraval to Talana

  33

  Passenger train from Talana to Una

  34

  Passenger train from Delwada to Sasan Gir

  35

  Dhasa-Veraval passenger train from Gir to Veraval

  36

  Somnath Express from Veraval to Rajkot

  37

  Saurashtra Mail from Rajkot to Dwarka

  38

  Okha-Puri Express from Dwarka to Ahmedabad

  39

  Ranakpur Express from Ahmedabad to Jodhpur

  40

  Jaisalmer Express from Jodhpur to Jaisalmer

  41

  Passenger train from Jaisalmer to Lalgarh

  42

  Link Express from Lalgarh to Deshnok

  43

  Barmer-Kalka Express from Bikaner to Chandigarh

  44

  Himalayan Queen Express from Chandigarh to Kalka (followed by a bus ride to Shimla)

  45

  Himalayan Queen toy train from Shimla to Kalka

  46

  Kalka-Barmer Chandigarh Express from Kalka to Chandigarh

  47

  Kalka-New Delhi Shatabdi Express from Chandigarh to Delhi

  48

  New Delhi-Amritsar Swarna Shatabdi Express from Delhi to Amritsar

  49

  Amritsar-New Delhi Swarna Shatabdi Express from Amritsar to Delhi

  50

  Chennai Rajdhani Express from Delhi to Chennai

  51

  Kaveri Express from Chennai to Mysore

  52

  Golden Chariot from Mysore to Vasco da Gama

  53

  Goa Express from Vasco da Gama to Londa

  54

  Hubli Link Express from Londa to Goa

  55

  Mandovi Express from Madgaon to Ratnagiri

  56

  Jan Shatabdi Express from Ratnagiri to Mumbai

  57

  Local train from Jogeswari to Churchgate

  58

  Kolkata Mail from Mumbai to Katni

  59

  Bilaspur Express from Katni to Umaria

  60

  Lifeline Express

  61

  Narmada Express from Umaria to Katni

  62

  Mumbai-Howrah Mail from Katni to Allahabad

  63

  Allahabad-New Delhi Duronto Express from Allahabad to Delhi

  64

  New Delhi-Jammu Tawi Rajdhani Express from Delhi to Jammu

  65

  Passenger train from Jammu to Udhampur

  66

  Passenger train from Udhampur to Jammu

  67

  Jammu Tawi-Delhi Sarai Rohilla Duronto Express from Jammu to Delhi

  68

  Gorakdam Express from Delhi to Gorakhpur

  69

  Avadh-Assam Express from Gorakhpur to New Jalpaiguri

  70

  New Delhi-Dibrugarh Rajdhani Express to Tinsukia

  71

  Passenger train from Tinsukia to Ledo

  72

  Dibrugarh-New Delhi Raj dhani Express from Tinsukia to NewJalpaiguri

  73

  Darjeeling Himalayan toy train from Darjeeling to Ghum

  74

  Darjeeling Mail from New Jalpaiguri to Kolkata

  75

  Coromandel Express from Kolkata to Bhubaneswar

  76

  Dhauli Express from Bhubaneswar to Puri

  77

  Puri-Talcher passenger train from Puri to Bhubaneswar

  78

  Konark Express from Bhubaneswar to Hyderabad

  79

  Passenger train from Hyderabad Kacheguda to Hyderabad Deccan Nampally

  80

  Charminar Express from Hyderabad Deccan Nampally to Chennai

  Prologue

  25 November

  London had never looked so grey. From the eighth-floor windows of TIME magazine’s Southwark offices the city’s skyline was spiked with cranes, aerials and chimneys unfurling charcoal plumes. Even Westminster’s spires, normally bouncing back glimmers of winter sun, had disappeared under the late-November fog.

  Shivering beneath the air vent I turned back to my computer and scrolled through an article detailing how India’s domestic airlines could now reach 80 cities. Intrigued, I printed out a map of the country and pored over the airline routes. They were impressive, but nowhere near as much as the railway network, which ran the length and breadth of the country, embroidering the tips of its landmass. I scanned the map, taking in the extent to which the railways covered the country. It was almost 20 years since my family had tried to move back to India to settle, but after spending two traumatic years in Madras we had made a hasty retreat home to England. India and I had parted on bad terms and little more than the occasional family wedding had succeeded in tempting me back.

  As I stared out at the skies, sombre at 10 am, India’s sunnier climes were an inviting prospect. I had barely stretched a toe beyond Madras and Hyderabad where my extended family lived, and always knew my curiosity about the rest of the country would get the better of me. So far every trip back had involved frog-hopping from one relative’s house to the next, having my cheeks pinched, marvelling at my cousins’ increasing waistlines while they frowned at my bones, and flying out as fast as I had arrived, with a suitcase full of murukkus. But I had never seen India as a tourist. If I was to go back and give it a real chance after 20 years, what was the best way? Leaving a gargantuan carbon footprint behind 80 flights was hardly the right way to go. As I traced the railway lines with a finger, an idea began to form in my mind. I called out to my colleague across the desk.

  ‘Willy-Lee, what do you think of travelling around India in 80 trains?’

  He glanced at the diagonals of rain spattering the windows and put on an oversize pair of Dior sunglasses, flipping his scarf over one shoulder.

  ‘You should so go.’

  That evening I stayed late after work and trawled Amazon for travelogues on India’s railways. While there were almost 3000 books relating to the history, modernisation, finances and, of course, the British hand in building the railways, few were personal accounts. Both Rudyard Kipling and Paul Theroux had covered segments, and Michael Palin had endured a few journeys in his version of Around the World in 80 Days. But with the exception of Peter Riordan, a journalist from New Zealand, it seemed that nobody had recently written about a solo journey around India by train. As I gathered my things and waved to Willy-Lee, who was transcribing an interview with Dame Vera Lynn and staring mournfully at the clock, I wondered whether there was a reason for this: were the railways too dangerous? Maybe those who had tried to circle the country by train had fallen ill, been mugged, or died along the way before anyone could hear about their adventures. Still, the thrill lay in the uncertainty of it all.

  Of the two years I had spent in India, my fondest memories were of the trains: tucked up in a cosy, curtained cabin aboard the Pandian Express to visit my brother at his boarding school. I could close my eyes to the heat and horrors of Madras and open them as the Palani Hills rose through the dawn haze. Trains were my escape, my ticket out of the city. They allowed me to curl up in comfort as my surroundings slipped away. Unlike air travel, a cramped, clinical affair conducted in recycled air, causing bad tempers and bad breath, train travel invited me to participate. I could sit in the doorway, thundering across rivers instead of pressing a forehead to a grimy oval window, watching them snake silently below. Since 1853 when the British waved off the firs
t passenger train from Bombay to Thane, the network had rippled out across the country, earning the nickname ‘The Lifeline of the Nation’. Trains carry over 20 million passengers every day along a route of 64,000 km, ploughing through cities, crawling past villages, climbing up mountains and skimming along coasts. Eighty train journeys up, down and across India would, I hoped, lift the veil on a country that had become a stranger to me.

  There was just one issue to address: I needed a travelling companion. India was not the safest place for a single girl to travel alone and although I was prepared to go by myself, some company was preferable. While hunting for the right candidate, I began hankering after books featuring Indian train travel. As I lay in bed one night reading Jules Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days, I realised that Phileas Fogg only decides to embark on his journey after reading an article in the Daily Telegraph announcing that a section of the Great Indian Peninsula Railway has been opened between Rothal and Allahabad, thereby reducing the time taken to circle the globe. The birth of the Indian Railways had clearly been an integral addition to global travel. My eyes began to close as I reached the point where Fogg’s manservant, Passepartout, wanders into a temple, not realising that Christians are not allowed in: ‘He looked up to behold three enraged priests, who forthwith fell upon him; tore off his shoes, and began to beat him with loud, savage exclamations.’